Hasta La Visa Lane Bryant!!

BIG FAT MAJOR MILESTONE REACHED!!!

I have removed myself from the Lane Bryant email list because ..........(drumroll please) ............all their clothes are TO DARN BIG for me now!!!!

I wish I had acheived this 10 years ago but I have finally dropped my baby weight.  Yep my baby is 11 and weighs 110 lbs...I've lost approx.  what he weighs :D

I am amazed when I look at this big boy and think I was carrying that around all day everyday.  How the hell did I do it?  No wonder I was always tired...and cranky....and hot.....

Okay mini brag over, still have over 20 lbs to hit goal...then I will re evaluate and see if I need to lose more. 

I'm such a loser!!

Whooo hoooo.... I am down to 165 again.  I only have 2 more lbs to lose until I get back to where  I was a little more than a year ago.  I'm not beating myself up for gaining back that weight.  I'm patting myself on the back for picking myself back up and climbing back on the diet wagon....At least I stopped before it got out of hand, and I decided to just be fat the rest of my life.  15 lbs is way easier to lose than 90.  I know.  I am now past the even 100 lbs mark I had been so content to stay at for so long.  So content I even started gaining weight.  What the hell was I thinking?

I had a pair of jeans that I had been wearing that were a size 12.  I had quit wearing them because they weren't fitting right.  Well Duh, Leah, wonder why?   Let me tell you that one pair of Levi jeans must have been in the delusional section of the store because I couldn't squeeze my big ole thighs and belly into any other 12s in any store.  WELL NOW I CAN!!  I am a size 12...whoo hooo YAY ME!!

I think if I can lose 15 lbs in September I will be a size 10 by October...Then it's new clothes time...:D  Real clothes...pretty wool,lined, dry clean only, grownup, work clothes.  You know the type you keep forever and have hanging in special covered hangers.....  Yep I will get a job just to pay for my clothes LOL...

I'm having such a great day.  I've been in the attic getting rid of all my 16s, 14s and old clothes I'll never wear again....The container at church where everyone drives up and donates old clothes is going to be over flowing.  I'm getting rid of everything that is to big or to young looking ((those 12's I've been hanging on to for 10 years)).  I don't want any excuse to gain back any weight.  If I gain 3 lbs the 12s I have will not fit.  That's the way I want it.  NO stretchy fabrics, no elastic waistbands...If I gain I am going to be so uncomfortable I'll be unable to eat.

BTW  I'm still doing Kimkins if anyone wants to check it out.  www.kimkins.com    I like the plan, low carb, low fat...your own food.  Plus the chat room is awesome!!

1year later

Crap!!!  1 year ago I was doing pretty good at getting back on track... now 1 year later I am probably 10 lbs heavier. 

I know, you think 10 lbs isn't much but that's almost a pound a month just because I've been L-A-Z-Y!!  One of the couselors took a picture of me at school last week.  You know the 10 lbs do not matter as much as the lack of exercise!!  OMG  I look horrible again!!

Now I'm back on track and doing Kimkins bootcamp for the next two weeks.  For the next two weeks it's 'All about ME!"  I'm doing this for me, my health and for my son so he doesn't end up raised by the Troll and Stepmonster!

I am going to join the Y and figure out how to pay for it somehow...it will be on my way home from school 2 days a week when I have 3 hours to kill before ds gets home.  So I figure I can find a fat swimsuit and long tee shirt and swim and work out 3 days a week.  Ds needs swim lessons so that will be the reason why he gets to join too!! (Maybe Grandma will pay she wants all her grandkids to learn to swim)

I checked my body log from last year

My chest waist and thighs are each an inch bigger...nope not measuring the behind...can't see it, don't want to think about it.

So this is New Year's Eve for me:

I resolve to get back on track, to watch what I put in my face and to move my BUTT!!

Someone kick my butt each morning pluheeseee!!

I want to see size 12 and size 10 again.  Soon, by Christmas so I can justify a whole new wardrobe when I start doing taxes again.

Nacho Granny!

OMG!!  I must stop going places with my two daycare children.  I have them Monday thru Friday from 6am to 5pm...so since I only have the two and they are both way beyond potty training (ages 3 and 4) we go everywhere.  The other day we decided to venture out to Krogers to get the items needed to make walking Nachos, or Tacos...(Not a diet friendly recipe but soooo good!)

Not once, not twice, but three, count 'em three damn times  people   asked if the girls  are my GRAND CHILDREN!!!  WTH??? I mean I'm not wearing one of those nifty double knit pant suits, or carrying a granny purse...I don't have gray hair, or many gray hairs, I don't have a curl and set boufont hairdoo...I'm not covered in pasty makeup and wrinkles...or wearing overly bright red lip stick and thick eyeliner...WTH??  What is matronly looking about me?

 First of all, I'm not an overly friendly person with strangers, partly shyness and partly I don't like people in my business....sorry, just the way I am.  BTW if you work at Kroger or Walmart and need to see my ID with my Credit Card-DON'T YOU DARE  CALL ME BY MY FIRST NAME!!  I hate that, and No- it doesn't make me feel like I'm shopping at a friendly store.  It makes me feel like smacking a cashier!

Second of all I don't think I am old enough to be their Grandmother.  Although technically I guess I could be, especially if I were a teen mother and they had teen mothers. My son is 10 and although I did get a late start I don't feel like I would be old enough to be his Grandmother!!  I'm am usually great at a quick comeback but all 3 times  the best I could manage when someone asked if I were the Grandmother was "NO".  Then they stand there as if waiting for an explaination..... and I stare them down.  This usually takes a few minutes because after all these are CLUELESS people. 

Should I tell them "That was rude!"??  If I say "That's none of your business."-that would be rude of me.  Do I need to explain I'm the babysitter?   I don't really care to.  I wonder if I weren't feeling fat and frumpy right now would people see me differently? 

Anyway, I think I need to hang out with older kids, then maybe I'll look younger.

Ds is driving me crazy, his behavior is much better, being grounded a week solved that. Now he swears his knee has been hurting for a year.  Uh a year??  Oh and his elbow too!!  Great, so instead of spending a couple hundred dollars going back and forth to the family practice and seeing the nurse practioner (who is way better than most doctors) I made him an appointment with a really good Sports Medicine Doctor.  If y'all hear of a explosion in the city of  Memphis this week it will be his father's head exploding when he finds out  the crappy insurance he changed to just to save a buck will cover approximately 20% of the bill. :D  The second smaller explosion will be my mother's head since I'm unemployed and have no $$ she will be loaning me my 1/2.    Hopefully they will set ds up with a exercise routine to build  muscle/ligament strength to help his joint pain.  Our baseball may be coming to an end early this year if not.

I'm on a mexican food kick, probably a good thing because everything I've been making has been really healthy! (well except the walking Nachos)  Last night pork loin Carnitas...Last week Beef Tamales!!  I totally rock at the tamale thing now, finally getting the hang of wrapping them where they stay wrapped without the aid of Margaritas.  I used to make tamales with some friends and it was an assembly line process that involved lots of tequilla and limes....so I don't really remember much of the process.

  My son is hooked on Pico De Gallo on everything :D  He also is not missing chips and queso dip that he used to think was required with all Mexican food.  Just like I thought Margaritas were required...although an occasional Margarita would be nice...

Off to work on school work, and go cash April's child support...and pay the evil water company before they turn me off.

I don't know what happened to the ears on your chocolate bunny

  Just kidding ds hasn't come home yet so I'm content to just snitch the mini dark chocolate milky way bars from his basket grandma made him.  His basket here isn't quite as tempting, baseball cards, beef jerky, and gum.  I knew what I would do if I filled it with dark chocolate kisses...

I know this blog is supposed to be about weight loss and in a way it is....Frustration makes me eat, eatting makes me gain weight...Thus the need for weight loss.  So allow me to vent about what frustrates me:

 Tax season will be over in just a few more days :D  I'm so damn glad!!  I can't lose an ounce during tax season no matter what.  After next week I have found a way to have Monday night,  Wednesday night, and Thursday nights free...I have  decided that I will just give my kid away so I can exercise. 

Before you start telling me I'm a crappy mom be forewarned that my answer will be "yeah, so?".  My son is almost 11 and those hideous 'Tween' hormones have hit.  Tweens can be a total pain in the rear sometimes.  I haven't given him away for good, just long enough each day to keep my sanity.  I bragged so much on his private coach that my freind A's husband decided to take their son.  So he goes the same time as my son on Mondays and since they are going that way anyway and they think my son is so sweet-they take him with them!!  Sweet deal for me!!  I get a 3 hour break where I can go walk without dragging any kids around the track with me.  (This is provided the daycare kids leave before 6 PM, but that's a whole nother rant)

Wednesday is the night he goes to the Troll and the Cryptkeeper for the night.  (That's the ex and his latest wife in case you're new to this)  

Thursdays he has baseball practice and my future husband picks him up and takes him and brings him home.  Ssshhh my future husband has no idea about my plans for him and don't go telling him.  I want him to think it was all his idea  and besides I don't even think he can stand me.  I'm like a super subspecies of stealth mold or fungus...I'll grow on him when he's not looking.  It just takes lots of exposure in small doses and he'll get used to me.   I'm kind of diggin' the single thing too and no where near ready to give up my freedom or independence or occasional hookups with Mr Hottie. Future husband is needing a little more time as a single parent before I propose anyway.  That way I'll be appreciated for any little thing I do around the house :D  BTW  Future Husband and Mr Hottie are not the same man.

 Poor Mr. Hottie he's as busy as I am and our total communciation this year has probably been maybe 5 or 6 phone calls and a couple dozen IM's and text messages...Okay and 3 or 4 overnights   Our latest round of texting went something like this

Sunday night Mr Hottie to Leah: Hey are you off work tomorrow night?

Sunday night 3 hours later-Leah to Mr Hottie:  No Stone goes to the Gym on Mondays (this was before I had A;s husband taking him) You know that...then when we get back to town I have 30 minutes to feed him and then he goes to scouts and AK is here until 8 on Mondays-remember.

Monday afternoon Mr Hottie to Leah:  I had forgot about Mondays...What about tomorrow night?

Monday evening: Leah to Mr Hottie:  I have college classes on Tuesday nights but I might be talked into skipping it for a better offer.

Tuesday morning Mr Hottie to Leah:  Don't know if I can offer anything better than your class.

Tuesday morning:Leah to Mr Hottie:  Try me! 

Tuesday noon: Mr Hottie to Leah:  okay I'll call this afternoon...

Leah emails assignment to instuctor with note about possible absence...

Tuesday at 3: Mr Hottie to Leah:   You might as well go to school.  E's mom just called got tied up at work I have to go pick E up from school and take her to dance class. and dinner after..can we make it tomorrow?

Tuesday 4pm  Leah to Mr Hottie: That's to bad I was looking forward to seeing you.  Tomorrow and Thursday I have to work-end of tax season we are to busy for me to call in. What about Friday?

Wednesday night: Mr Hottie to Leah:  Team leaves out of town Friday morning won't be back until late Sunday night.  What about Monday?

Thursday morning: Leah to Mr Hottie:  My schedule is the same next week...Ball Monday, School Tuesday, Taxes Wed and Thursday.

*************************TMI ZONE************************

BTW if you're easily offended this isn't the blog for you, move on!  quickly!!

Thursday afternoon:  Mr Hottie to Leah:  I took care of my needs all by myself.  Don't you feel bad for me?

Thursday evening: Leah to Mr Hottie:  Was it good for you? 

Friday morning: Mr Hottie to Leah:  Yeah, I guess it was I don't remember the other way anymore.

Friday late morning: Leah to Mr Hottie:  There's another way?

Now that is frustration!!  Of course then there is the constant Troll presence...not actual physical presence Thank God!  But the constant phone calls, he's back to 6 and 7 times a day which is why my text messaging to Mr Hottie is so sporadic.  My only defense is to take the battery out of the cell phone and keep the computer on line so I am not constantly answering the Troll's beck and call.  Then of course he is also doing the last minute cancelation thing on his weekends.  If ds has ballgames Troll won't take him...IDIOT!!

Then there is the puppy/Beastfromthedepthsofhell that Ds got for Christmas.  His puppy he got this time last year died after a month so for Christmas he got another puppy.  Same parents as last puppy but no where near the same dog.  This one is 10 times larger, 10 times dumber, and 10 times more assertive.  Oh and 100 times stronger!!  I still have not established myself as alpha dog.  If this Monster Mutt weren't so freakin' cute he'd already be taking up space at the local no kill shelter.  I posted this earlier on the Tacky Tiki Lounge..this is how I spent my Easter...

http://tackytikilounge.blogspot.com    All my crazy friends and I are going to post our daily weirdness there.  Well mine occurs daily not sure about anyone else.

BTW why can't we cut and paste in  here?????????

Those sticky pesky damn 5 lbs....

I've lost them yet again!!!  Now I just need to stay motivated to get beyond this set point my body has.  I'm blaming it on my body because it just cann't be me that is the problem....  I must have some kind of unconsious fear of getting to 145....like I might find a life or something.  School is a bitch this semester and that makes me eat, I'm busy as heck with tax season, that makes me eat, I'm always in a rush so that makes me eat the wrong things...could someone disable my drivers side window?? That would help a lot!  Not to mention ds with his preteen angst and hormonal emotional roller coaster and slothiness!!!  I'm bringing out the garbage bag and throwing away everything on the floor.  Anyone need some boys size 10-12 handme downs, slightly dirty and heavily wrinkled, dog hair and floor lint included??? 

Yep in a weak moment Christmas morning I let a gorgeous face and beautiful brown eyes talk me into taking them home with me.  (No not MR Hottie, although the description matches pretty well.  He's only allowed to spend the night occasionally.  At least until he smartens up and realizes I'm perfect for him and we both find more than an occasional evening we can spend together. )

 I caved and got ds a puppy...it was adorable, just a handfull of white fluffy fur with a huge black spot on his back.  Well it seems like Puppy Chow has magical properties...By Dec 30 that handful of fluff weighed 7.5 lbs...by Jan 23rd, it weighed 18.5 lbs...now the darn thing is about 33 lbs....with feet as big as mine.  He's totally changed colors and has an attitude problem...he talks back and doesn't listen to directions...kind of like ds in his bad moments....

Right now they are both sulking in their rooms after suffering the wrath of MOM!!

Time to go get ready for job #2 because one of the daycare kids from job #1 just spilt koolaid all over my kitchen floor...she's pretending not to see it............GGRRRRRR

Help!!! My scale is stuck!!

....okay the net just ate the post I wrote so if you read this twice I'm sorry...

I went back to the DR the other day.  3 year old and 4 year old in tow.  I had forgotten what a work out it was in the winter time getting two little ones dressed in coats, hats, scarves, mittens, ect.  Then getting them out the door without letting the puppy out and buckled into car seats with their coats on!!  I was exhausted before we left the driveway.  1 mile to the DR office and then inside to remove all the winter clothing in the waiting room, then moving children and clothing to the triage room, then the 2nd waiting room, then the actual exam room...OMG!!!  By the time the DR came in I was not exactly a happy camper. 

She was surprized when I told her I wasn't sick.  She had just seen me the month before for my diabetes checkup and was happy with the results.  In fact now a month later my blood pressure reading was even better.  My cholesterol results had come back with both levels in the acceptable range, my sugar has been in the normal range.  No problems so why was I there?  I told her I was there to bitch and moan because my stupid body seems to LIKE being between 179 and 175 and refuses to move away from that no matter what I do. 

We talked for over 30 minutes about my diet, my exercise (okay, I did admit I NEED to do more).  She was really impressed with the things we (me and ds) eat and things we have quit eatting.  SO.... her advice:  Sleep more (yeah right!) and eat more fiber and fruit.....  (Yep fruit....I asked about the sugar and she said the one metformin I'm taking should regulate it)  Whooo hooo  I haven't had a lot of fruit in a long time. Oh and I had to cross my heart and swear to get up to 10,000 steps a day again.   Then surprize surprize...she wrote me a prescription for Phentermine!!!  DUDE!  I felt like a junkie because I really felt like I had SCORED!!! 

Before you all start the lectures she already gave them to me...and I am under strict orders to show up in 1 month with more muscle mass even if my weight doesn't change.  This is for 30 days to help jumpstart my metabolisim. 

I've been taking them for 3 days now.  I haven't felt jittery or nervous just thirsty and don't have the constant 'Need To Feed' feeling.

Oh and added Bonus!! I swear my ADD seems to be under control without that sleepy feeling that ADD meds gave me :D  So maybe I'll get caught up with the laundry and stuff that keeps getting pushed to the side around here. (or maybe not! LOL)

I actually went to Krogers or as I call it  Kay Rogers and bought fruit...I felt like a kid turned loose in a candy store with a $100 bill.  LOL  I got Bananas and dried apricots, and prunes and also almonds...(geeze they have gotten expensive!)  I got 2 bags of the presliced green apples and then bought some of the low fat, low sugar, vanilla yogurt for dip :D  Then I grabbed a few mean cuisines for when I get pressed for time and am tempted to grab something at the drive thru instead of eatting at home.

The greatest thing happened today also  the SUN is OUT and it's above 40 degrees outside!!  Thursday is supposed to be 70 degrees.  I'm calling in sick!  Nobody should get their taxes done on a 70 degree afternoon!!  Baseball has started. Already!  so maybe I can get out and walk while ds practices, and then we have Monster Mutt that really needs to be walked.  He's over 20 lbs already and he's been dragging me around the yard!  Hopefully more exercise will calm his goofy ass down!!

Okay back to exam week!  I hope to catch up with everyone soon.

Happy New Rear!!!

No that is not a typo!!  I'm back, I'm motivated and I'm going to do it if it kills me.  Not necessarily loose more weight or not much more but EXERCISE!!!

I am going to exercise more.  I am tired of my little baseball player on my ticker moving backwards and I'm tired of looking in the mirror when trying on pants and seeing  no rear...none, it slid off sometime ago.  I used to have a nice round booty, rude men used to comment on it when I was young and slim...now a nice round booty is okay to have and where the hell is mine??   Gone, just up and slid away  as if getting old didn't suck bad enough as it is.....

My new years resolution this year is to MAKE time for me and to TAKE time for me...no matter what I'm taking 30 minutes a day to do it.  I'm going to work out,  and  get ready for the day every single morning.  30 minutes when I do not answer the phone, read email, do homework, take care of the puppy, or take care of ds...30 minutes of ME TIME.  I am not going to do it at the unholy hour of 5:30 am anymore either...from 6:30 to 7:00 will be my time.  Everyone else can just wait or go away during that time...

On a good note, my blood pressure this latest dr. visit was  120/80 which is damn good because I had not been taking any blood pressure meds for 2 weeks because I had run out.  The dr. kept me on the blood pressure meds and mediformin again witih the promise that if I could loose 35 lbs I could try doing with out them.   My cholesterol had improved so much she quit talking about pills for that.  3 years ago my blood pressure was so high I would wake  up at night thinking someone was nailing roofing on the house next door.  I was at near stroke level and my sugar was out of control.  I started out taking 3 metaformins a day at 500 mg each.  Now I'm down to 1-500 mg pill per day.

I am now battling the stupid kidney stones from hell.  It seems like whenever I get really busy and stressed one or two will decide to break loose and  create chaos when I can least afford it.  During final exam week I had to deal with them.  I still haven't passed them but at least I'm not in pain anymore.

I finished the semester with 3 As 1 B (damn grad student teacher) and a W (Biology  not my thing)

New semester starts the 16th...tax season starts tomorrow, ds basketball games start Saturday....

until then I think I'll just chill....

OMG!! I'm the PIA picky eater now!!

I had a 'light bulb moment' as Oprah calls it the other day.  I was at a freinds house and we had eaten lunch.  I was helping to clean up afterwards and realized there were so many things in her house that I wouldn't dream  of eatting now, that wouldn't have bothered me 12 years ago when we were roommates.  Then it hit me,  I really don't want to eat out or away from home anymore because it is such an issue that I would be a pain in the arse to feed. ( I'm glad we are volunteering for Thanksgiving then coming home to eat.)

I looked through her cabinet and saw  white bread and buns, snack cakes, chips, soda with sugar, chips, crackers, cookies and gasp!  candybars!!

My cabinet has rice cakes, (Quaker white cheddar rocks) shelled almonds, whole wheat bread, even whole wheat hamburger buns and hot dog buns.  Oatmeal, brown rice,  sugar free jello and pudding mixes canned fruit in water or light syrup.  Splenda.

Her frige had mayo, (I really miss mayo), Whole milk, pimento cheese, sliced cheese, cheddar cheese,that canned spray cheese stuff (ahhh I miss real cheese sometimes, but now cheese is a garnish in Leah land.) More sodas with sugar. 

My frige has mustard, basalmic vinegar, light ranch dressing (how did that get in there?)

soy sauce, teriyaki sauce,  whole wheat tortillas, cartons of egg whites, light soy milk, spray butter substitute, spray salad dressing, lemon juice, low fat ham lunch meat, low fat cheese shreds.  Soy eggroll wrappers,  zuchinni, yellow squash, red bellpeppers, red onion, sliced mushrooms, avacado,  romaine, bean sprouts, cucumbers, and carrots...all the produce is organic also.  OMG!!  Am I becoming a tree hugging vegetarian?  What's next?

Oh and sour cream chicken enchiladas...no worries there my son has been inhaling those at the speed of light.

I became this organic veggie eatting creature when I  wasn't looking.  Just by making little changes one at a time. Not to say I could go all the way with the veggie thing, I still love my chicken and the occasional Backyard Burger and nothing can convince me that tofu is food.... I do love the Baja veggie burgers though......hmmmmm  Nope, occasionally I'd have to have some yummy prime rib with horseradish also. 

A gain that's really a loss.

Okay I'm trying I really am, I had gotten back up to 181 just 2 weeks ago.  I was to ashamed to post it on my weight tracker.  Today I weighed myself and  I am down to 175,  which of course since I'm being honest and recorded it shows as a gain on my tracker... See what my prior dishonesty gets me...

I realize this is the stupidest time of the year to try to diet....but at least I will have an excuse not to try those 'mystery dishes' that show up at peoples holiday gatherings.  I have a huge adversion to eating anything that comes from anyones kitchen I haven't seen. 

 The way I met my best friend was after a funeral we were both going down the serving line asking who made each dish.  LOL  A friend of mine was trying to convince her it was okay to eat my dish even though she didn't know me. 

My strange food adversion carries over to my moms cooking also, she has cats, 3 cats, all 3 live in the house and it grosses me out the way they jump on counters and the table so I never eat over there.  (If you know my mom don't tell her, she'll disown me for being ugly to my feline brother and sisters.)  So I think for the holidays we might spend a lot of time at my mom's this year.  I'll either not eat or overcome the feeling that I have cat hair in my throat with every bite.  I'm betting I won't eat.